He goes to the next bed. "Your car stuck, sir?" asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside. Raise 'em high and bold, boys. May it always be the other guy who says, 'this drink's on me.' May the saddest day of your future be no worse Than the happiest day of your past. 25. The cruiser opened up,. 4. 9. 7 Likes. It has that sauciness of Irish drinking toasts, and it's better than just saying, "Drink up!" "My friends are the best friends. These are just some of the terms military members use to define military life. Firestone's Law of Forecasting: Chicken Little only has to be right once. 3) Here's an insightful and profound yet witty quote toast. So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven! Funny Submarine quotes. Top 10 best drinking toasts 1.) Ask the Navy to secure a building and they will turn off all the lights and lock all the . 1. If there's a significant birthday in your future -- a number that ends with a zero or a five -- celebrate with guests by offering a funny birthday toast to yourself. The United States Air Force has been facing recent shortages in fighter pilots in recent years. 1. QUEEN ELIZABETH I supporting her military against the Spanish Armada, July 1588. Duncan Hunter 1 Likes The military intelligence. --Sir Winston Churchill (referring to appeasers) To be born free is an accident. Funny Submarine quotes "Yes, it is possible!" - William Bourne, English inventor. 7. Humorous birthday toasts and funny sayings give us a chance to laugh at the trials and tribulations of maturity. They're in front of us. See more ideas about drinking toasts, drinking quotes, funny toasts. Because we've already lost our minds. 38 Fighter Pilot Toasts. 1) Here's one of those classic toasts from George Bernard Shaw. —MDM Life is a banquet and most poor sons of bitches are starving to death. Barbara W Tuchman 2 Likes Military quotes I drank to your health alone. 4.) Joke #1. An Army ranger, Air Force P.J., Navy seal, and a Recon Marine. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there." "I drank to your health in company. Feb 19, 2014 by Brandon Gaille. Loyal, willing, and able. May you die in bed at 95 years, Shot by a jealous wife. 31.) [1910 Toasts of the Century. May you live all the days of your life. A moment of alarm Examples of toasts for foreign guests are at the end of this section. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. Jul 5, 2021 - Explore John Doe's board "Funny toasts" on Pinterest. Recruiting military pilots. 12.) Was looking for the best candidate to fill a spot on a field team. Who'll bury our sons Here's to tomorrow Hope it never comes. One of the most interesting aspects of re-entering the civilian world is the culture . The irate sergeant scrambled back up amid guffaws and barked, "Those who laughed, get down and give me 20!". Show off your lyrical skills and impress your friends with this fun rhyme. Two words combined that can't make sense. Who loves not women, wine, and song, He will be a fool his whole life long. So he recruited 4 of the best he could find. Soldier's joke on his ex-girlfriend. I got scared and tried to go AWOL." "Who you calling Captain? 2 Toasts of Goodwill. They're on our left. (1578) He also points out that submarines can be an effective weapon in wartime. Funny military sayings. Here's to your liver! So here we are at your retirement farewell. 30.) He told them "you must find your own way to this beach head for 0600 tomorrow morning, there you will be tested like never before". Ask the Marines to secure a building and they will charge in, kill everybody inside, and then set up defenses to make sure nobody gets in. Some military retirement toasts. Oct 30, 2015. Ah, sure you're going to be in good shape and healthy during your retirement…. 3. It's crazy out there and the firefight was so heavy. To a Round of Drinking Your friend just walked in with a bottle of "the good stuff," and it's time to show off your appreciation. Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you're on fire. 3.) Brilliant strategist to do as little as possible…. 13 Likes. 5. They can't get away this time. Oct 4, 2020 - Explore Nathaniel G's board "military toasts" on Pinterest. We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. 5 Amusing And Funny Scottish Drinking Toasts. May we be who our dogs think we are. —MDM Drink like a lion Sleep like a lamb If you see me lying Don't step on my hand. May we live to learn well And learn to live well. May it live as long as you last. - From a post-war debriefing of a German General Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. I drank to your health so many times.I nearly ruined my own." Where do Generals keep their armies? "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. Our Hardest Riddles Ever Shoot Around It Dad always bragged about the gunners on his ship. The guy responds, "well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6-foot tall, I weigh 200 pounds, and I'm a Marine.". I'm a general!" "Wow!" exclaimed the soldier. 10. See more ideas about funny, funny quotes, bones funny. "I didn't realize I'd run that far back." 14. "Yours is." 2. If you are going to be speaking or making a toast at a retirement celebration for a new veteran, check out this collection to add humor to your speech. "Yes, it is possible!". 2) Here's a comedian quote that can be used as a funny toast. It is the responsibility of the host to inform the . You who pretended to work…. Not too worn, little trick…. All glasses off the table!" 9. Emergency management: "Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you'll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.". Jul 5, 2021 - Explore John Doe's board "Funny toasts" on Pinterest. 5 Awesome College Drinking Toasts. Oct 4, 2020 - Explore Nathaniel G's board "military toasts" on Pinterest. Always remember to forget 6.) I drank to your health alone. She wink and she toasts me and later on we gonna mosey. See more ideas about drinking toasts, drinking quotes, funny toasts. How to Toast Someone Who Has Died. —Patrick Dennis Damn the Torpedoes Steady your glasses Here comes the gale Batten down the hatches And lean well over the rail. Any military commander who is honest will admit he makes mistakes in the application of military power. Also required are toasts to prisoners-of-war, those killed or missing in action, and fallen service members, even if none are from the unit. Call Of Duty. Ralph's Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry. You can even throw a quote in that your loved one used to say. "The guy sitting next to me," he continues, "is 6′ 2 . Here's to you, here's to me, together as friends we'll always be, and if we ever disagree, Fuck you, here's to me. The guy responds, "well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6-foot tall, I weigh 200 pounds, and I'm a Marine." "The guy sitting next to me," he continues, "is 6′ 2″, weighs 250 pounds, and he's also a Marine. —MDM. 1850) Giving very odd excuses. To a place less populated and get cozy. The Devil is close behind. Giving out accolades never goes out of style. What do you call a high-ranking soldier who hates recycling? A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?". General Waste. After all, advancing birthdays are much better than the alternative. -Robert McNamara. This toast is easy to remember so you can pop it off once that bottle's cracked. It is an honor to offer a toast. - A Platoon Joke #3 Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" 24. To high winds and mermaids! Ask the Army to secure a building and they will set up a perimeter around it and make sure nobody gets out. 11.) Drink to life and the passing show And the eyes of the prettiest girl you know. This variant has not made it into print.] Funny short toasts. 3 Best Funny Thanksgiving Toasts Quotes You Need To Know. 1850) "One bottle for four of us, - William Bourne, English inventor. A sailor tells a joke to two Marines. Nothing matures a military force quicker than actual military operations. Ask the Air Force to secure a building and they will sign a 10 year lease with an option to buy. May all your ups and downs be under the covers! 2. This toast or the variant below are the most commonly collected bawdy toasts.] But the best ships, are friendships, And may they always be." 5. 7.) Ask the Navy to secure a building and they will turn off all the lights and lock all the doors at 1700. May the winds of fortune sail you, May you sail a gentle sea. May the wind at your back always be your own. It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money. Toasts congratulating service members on successful deployments can include statements like, "To those who sacrificed," and "To continued success and happiness." Troops whose spouses recently gave birth can be toasted . Meanwhile . They're behind us.. College drinking toasts. 5.) To our wives and girlfriends… 15. Funny transcript of an actual military conversation. Dear Colleague, You are leaving today to retire. 3.) Don't know if I've lived in sin. So let's get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life. They're on our right. --Chesty Puller They feed the crocodile in the hope that he will eat them last. To live free is a privilege. 16. 2.) May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there." "I drank to your health in company. I'm not so sure…. Another day another bender. Today we honor John and salute his service. Heaven and Hell. Now let's get to drinking! Best short toasts for any occasion 1.) "The only thing that will happen is that the vessel will sink, and suffocate the crew". The ships that sail the sea. The c.i.a. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.— Socrates 4.) HANNIBAL addressing his soldiers after crossing the Alps, 218 BCE "On the right and left two seas enclose you, without your possessing even a single ship for escape. Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast. No retreat no surrender. - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Some terms are service-related, some are slang, but all of them can lead to some funny misunderstandings in the civilian world. Latrine queen, geedunk, scuttlebutt, bulkhead…. Once during target practice, an unmanned drone flew past an antiaircraft cruiser. Chain of command During training exercises, the Lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. and some others fell to the ground quickly and did their push-ups. When the formality of ceremonial toasts is to be observed on state occasions, arrange beforehand the order and subject of all toasts. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?" The sailor says, "nah, I don't want to have to explain it more than twice." Keep it short. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. 2.) Collected from a woman. Joke #2 What do you call a Marines with an IQ of 160? 13.) 10.) For guidance on military wedding toasts refer to Service Etiquette. 8. "I am amongst you at this time, not as for my recreation or sport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live or die amongst you all; to lay down, for my God, and for my kingdom, and for my people, my honor and my blood.". "The only thing that will happen is that the vessel will sink, and suffocate the crew" - H. G. Wells, English writer (1902) (Submarines had been used since ca. A.J. Damn the torpedoes. Ne-yo. They can be heartfelt or lighthearted, respectful or irreverent! — Unknown Army food: the spoils of war May your beautiful lips never blister! (1578) He also points out that submarines can be an effective weapon in wartime. Private talking to a general. In their sleevies. Those who have served in the military often have a dry sense of humor that produces some funny military sayings. Don't know if I've lied to the angels. 26. - H. G. Wells, English writer (1902) (Submarines had been used since ca. 2. See more ideas about funny, funny quotes, bones funny. The current 200 pilot shortage is expected tog grow to 700 in the years to come unless bonuses and other retention incentives are encouraged. May we be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows we're gone. Murphy's 3rd Military Law: Friendly fire ain't. Murphy's 4th Military Law: The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map. Megadeth 12 Likes Military quotes Nothing so comforts the military mind as the maxim of a great but dead general. Hold tight to your souls, boys. 5.) But when the devil comes a knockin'. An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time. [ 9 Dec. 2003. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" We should always remember that serving one's country is the ultimate expression of love for family, friends and neighbors. 1 Mandatory Toasts The toastmaster, generally the host of the ball, must toast the president, distinguished guests, the host of the ball and the service members as required by military regulations. I drank to your health so many times.I nearly ruined my own." Funny retirement speech sample. Ceremonial Toasts. -- Navy Seals All right. A heart that loves is always young.— Anonymous Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.— Aristotle By all means marry; if you get a good wife/husband, you'll be happy. 8. To a Good Time. May this be the least happy day of your lives. The very best toasts are short and simple. Toasts of goodwill should be kept short and simple, according to Department of the Army Pamphlet 600-60. 29.) Military quotes. A toast to one whose service has guaranteed the freedom we have to celebrate today.. 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